hot like mexico, rejoice

finals are over and its official - i didnt pull off my 4.0. i ended w/ 5 As and 2 Bs - and in normal life i'd be PUMPED - but because i was so close and i'm taking post bach work a bit more seriously than undergrad, i wasn't too thrilled. one of my Bs was an 89.5% - FML. The other one was an 88%. WHATEV

grad packets are done and those that are writing my recommendation letters have all the shit they need to get those going - now all i have to get done are the actual applications - i'm so excited to fast fwd a few months and see which school i'm going to end up at. i have my fingers crossed for IU honestly...but we'll see.

kevin and i broke up, and i think its forreal this time. its been a strange back and forth kind of feeling but in the end...thats the thing that makes me iffy about trying to continue. i think thats his thing too. ill move out after the new yr and im looking forward to it. im readie for the space and the new beginning - and the being across the street from the building where most of my classes are.

these next few weeks are going to be fantastic. im picking up LT from the airport tomorrow night, right after meeting for dinner with some friends from my program in aurora - then LT and i will head to the bar WHOOP. then my time home will consist of catching up with people and christmas and getting my hurrr did and crashing parties...no class and no work until into january WONDERFUL

i'm so in love with lady gaga. and this is my obsession and song of the day. enjoy:

applying for grad school makes me want to curl up and sleep forever. i dont know what i expect to happen when i keep putting it off. like a school will miraculously call me out of the blue and say "hey cash, guess what? you can just have ur Masters degree from us, right now". tomorrow i have vowed to get it done, and its just gotta happen. my personal statement letter is currently about 2 pages long, single spaced, and i need to break that shit down to about 500 words. fab.

on a happie note, i'm not too concerned about finals. i've got As in all my classes...minus 1...fucking bio....but regardless i will end with a great GPA which should help to solidify my case for grad school.

my boss told me that she didnt care how much time i took off of work for christmas - SO i am planning on being back in Vtown from dec 16 - jan 3. with possible road trips in between that time. i would love to make it up to Chi to see my aunt and uncle's place...and possible new yrs down in hot n happenin noblesville, in? any takers? haha no solid plans but just some ideas rolling around in my tired lil mexican head.

and with that, i bid a fine farewell with a lil bad romance. i can relate all too easily.

lets try this again

it's a year later and here i am again. and heres where i give my promised shout to the lovely mina matlock for inspiring me to get back to blognation.

my life is breaking down and building up at the moment. relationships, school, work, family. its rough and liberating.

i'm going to be in a book coming out in Dec for WeFeelFine.org - it's their Almanac of Emotion - i'm on the AWESOME page - literally - its broken down into different emotions and general sections and thats the page that I'm on - give it a looksee: http://wefeelfine.org/book/

*sigh* i have a lot on my mind but i'm not able to write about these things publicly quite yet. i'll stick with poetry.


stop pushing me down
she explained to the crown
to the robes red with blood
and the menacing grin

as she struggled with pain
it continued to rain
and the boot was the same
digging into her spine

crawling over the dirt
in the heat of the hurt
as the water ran brown
pushing into the dark

she reflected on then
sunshine petals and fin
where she fell off the horse
and landed in her tears

now the spoons are all knives
and the love is disguised
it swallowed butterflies
and left shallow and torn

yet not far from her bed
something glimmers ahead
something shines through the mist
and she's starting to smile

and i am sun
i am sun and water
i'm the Rey and the rays

i am fear
wave away
understand
where you came from

mud will dry
mouth will laugh
you will sleep
moon, sun, star